But a Mother

"You just hound people down using your towering size and matching sound box," said my friend Mathew to me when I told him that I had yelled at the kids and come down hard on them. Cannot remember what it was but the old boy was rather scathing in the clipping that he gave me online. This little poem was my response to that!!



Oh ye of little faith
Ne’er a word can I say
That’d make thee believe
For I am but a mother
With responsibility unlike ether
Cannot but bestow care and thunder
Lest they run asunder
My fledglings
Need grow stronger
And be proud and confident
As they soar the skies yonder



Note:
1. Matt with Tam - photo courtesy Aarzoo Kaveri Sen
2. Eagle - wallpaper images courtesy Google images

The Nomad's Home

I was a nomad
Even before I became this body
A result of the union of two souls
That met
In the high mountain ranges
Of the mighty Himalayas
A long way from the place
That once served as their individual cocoons

Conceived in the plains
Birthed in an ancient land
Of universal learning, scriptures and spirituality
And the journey began
One with no particular destination
Or so it seemed

The wilderness was familiar territory
Swimming across the choppy ocean waters
Was no big deal
Enclosed spaces meant nothing to me
Did not make me feel secure
For it was in them that I was violated
Neither threatened
For when innocence is taken nothing more is left to be
Surviving was easy
Yet the turbulence ran deep

Home was just another word
In the dictionary
Till the day you walked in
Through the door
Ambling in with the gait
Of one who could easily
Break down the walls
Of the fortress round my heart
And then the moment came to pass
That I sat next to you
And rested my head on your shoulder!!



Note:
1. Tibet Nomachi Nomads in Nagchu - photo courtesy - Google images - anjalidsouza.blogspot.com
2. Tuareg Nomads with Camels in Sand Dunes of Sahara Desert, Arakou - photo courtesy - Google images - art-posters-prints.posteravatar.com
3. Otterly adorable - photo courtesy - Google images

Anthems & Growing Up

“The years teach much which the days never knew.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have never really gone with the anthem, “18 till die”. More the one moment in time or its my life kinda girl. Greatest love of all by Whitney Houston inspires me.....The Top Gun Anthem is my all time favourite. Exhilarating!

To think of being stuck at 18 when the cells continue to divide and grow and commit hara-kiri on a continuous basis is akin to being stagnant for me. So never mind if one follows this up with the Oh! I meant in my heart or in my mind or whatever (and yeah some unprintable stuff I have heard about some libidos), 18 till I die to me suggests being in a limbo, being stationary, being in the same place, time, et al. Too much of a free spirit and as wild as they come, you may as well kill me. I am high on life and greedy too. Because, no matter what one may say it is in growth that one gains not just weight but wisdom too and eventually one hopes for enlightenment.

A wise woman once said, At 20, you are worried about what people think, at 40 you don’t care and at 60, you realize that no one was looking in the first place. Lucky me, I was 18 when these gems were shared with me.

And then of course, my wise old man always said, you have only one life. Live it. Experience it. Only word of caution, never hurt another. Years later, explanation given to this by my Baba was very simple, you don’t want to tie yourself up in karmic time zones. For you will have to do that to make up. It is tough to get out of the life and death cycle if one is not careful. I reckoned, it was all up to me, folks.

So my bucket list began quite early and there are checks against some and I keep adding some. Save for the time I fell in love with the man I consider my “my one true love” and proposed to him only to be turned down, I have never really mulled on stuff and dwelled on failures much. On hindsight it was a good thing to be nursing a broken heart rather than be saddled with someone who does not want you. Or to be privy to the farts and warts of one’s muse and trust me dearies, even the hottest of them will have those.

Also the need for the person could lead to the understanding of the nature of life and love and beyond it to the Realization of self. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Imagine this in eternal time and juxtapose this with the attachment and moksha theory. Attachment = No moksha and No attachment = moksha. Simple formula that.....

So attach myself is what I do in the hope of an eternal love that is mine and mine alone. Moksha be damned. Yet enlightenment is what I seek. And so I live life out. And to its fullest. Not as a 18 year old in heart, mind or whatever, but with a song on my lips sung, like only a 40 year old Barbara or Whitney or Celine can belt out. Recall Connie Frances who did not fall for an excuse and belted it out to the man straight with the “Lipstick on your collar, told a tale on you”?

Well, I have gotten to a stage where I have no time or patience for crap. Especially when you have a brat at home to deal with. Try stepping into the washroom and just when you have fixed the bolt in place, you have the three year old banging on the door with the query, "Mommy what are you doing in there? When will you come out?". Now if there is anything that needs you to be grown up in real terms, this is it. Helps if you have a fine sense of humour in place and telling her you are flushing the bogeyman down the pot.

“Life is calling. Where are you?”, lines that go abuzz every morning and get me to move it. Better to walk towards eternal peace rather than get stuck in a time warp. And yes Denzel Washington, still manages to take my breath away! “What’s love got to do with it?”, you may well ask. Go figure.

The past year has been one of reunions and it was, “Soup for the Soul”, like no other. Took me to another time and place wherein I was relatively unfettered. But was quickly reminded of the facebook status of my friend, JJC (John Jacob Cherian) which went, “Note to self: Just because you are meeting your college mates after a long time, doesn’t mean you are 18!”


Having said that, I agree with Jim Fiebig – “Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone!”

Abyss

The life breath
Ticks away
Waiting patiently
In the abyss
Of time

Is it aware
It will float
Into eternity
When the words
Are whispered
Into the
Universe

[Note: Image courtesy Google Images -
Christ of the Abyss
tripadvisor.com]

Hearts & Knives

Knifing my heart,
You have fine tuned it
Into a perfect art.

Is it as easy as it seems?
You know I have nothing,
If I don't have you....
What made me give you
The Power,
To break down my walls
I will never know



You are the only one,
I ever really made
The connection with.
It's a love,
That's been through lifetimes
And will be into eternity!
But why is it that
Only I feel so?



How much longer,
Will I have to wait
For you to come by
And mend the wounds, caused
By your knife?!

[Image Courtesy: Google
Website: bibleprophecyupdate.com
& Road to Eternity from kevinalfredstrom.com]

A Buddha Lesson For Me

I think I am turning into a borderline Facebook addict. Well, it’s just me. Sitting on the fence is an old habit. Can be pushed either way, but will take my sweet Mother Mary time and thankfully I am not yet a total addict. Anyway, I seem to find a lot of gems on the networking site and this is one such. Thanks to friends and acquaintances I am able to share words of wisdom. This is a beautiful story and really hits the home run especially for an impulsive person like me. Lucky me, I have my own Buddhas in my life who keep me grounded and calm.

Once Buddha was travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake."

The disciple walked up to the lake. At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake.

The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same.

After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said," See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own -- and you have clear water.

Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless." Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process!

Picture Courtesy: Google images (600 × 446 - Budha Painting - Budha Fine Art Print. Budha Painting by Pc fineartamerica.com)

Children Have Rules Too....For Us

It was the Parent Teacher Meeting at Tamanna’s school. When she turned two and a half, she followed big sister Aarzoo into the portals of Little Feat Montessori. Insha-Allah, she should be there till it is time for her to move to Grade I.

I met her Teacher, Ms. Paromita, who has nothing but praise for her wards. And when one has had both sisters under one’s wing as a teacher, comparisons are bound to arise, much as Ms. Paromita hates it. Heretofore, she always maintained that the two girls were very different in temperament and attitude. But this time, her report was entirely the opposite.

“Tamanna, is so like Aarzoo!! It’s not funny,” she exclaimed. “Remember, how Aarzoo used to be such a perfectionist and had to cross her t’s and dot her i’s?” I nodded, recollecting the times when I had gone to fetch Aarzoo from school and was made to wait because she had not completed her work to her satisfaction and insisted on doing so.

“Tamanna is just the same. I am amazed,” said Ms. Paromita.

“Well, don’t blame me”, I replied. “It’s their Bengali genes that are responsible. They get it from their father. Next time Parag is in town, I will send him to school and you can give him a piece of your mind”.

“I am guilty of that too”, said Ms. Paromita, who is a Bengali herself, laughing.

We had a good laugh.

“I am very laid back, I assure you,” I said and was pleasantly surprised at the work that the brat had churned out that term. Owe it big time to her teacher and her school.

Waiting to meet Ms. Munira Akhtar, the Principal, I came across this eye-opener message on the notice board.

Unspoken Words From The Heart Of A Child

My hands are small; please don’t expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball
My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you

My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely. Don’t restrict me unnecessarily.

Housework will always be there. I am only little for a short time, please take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world and do so willingly.

My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs. Don’t nag me all day long. (You wouldn’t want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness – would you?) Treat me as you would like to be treated

I am a special gift from God; please treasure me as God intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guideline to live by and disciplining me in a loving manner.

I need your encouragement to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; remember you can criticize the things I do, without criticizing me

Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday I will be prepared to make the kinds of decisions that life requires of me.

Please don’t do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn’t quite measure up to your expectations. I know it’s hard but please don’t try to compare me to my brother or sister.



I realized then how important it was to keep going back to school. Those walls are teachers of the immortal kind!