Tuesday, March 15, 2011
“The years teach much which the days never knew.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have never really gone with the anthem, “18 till die”. More the one moment in time or its my life kinda girl. Greatest love of all by Whitney Houston inspires me.....The Top Gun Anthem is my all time favourite. Exhilarating!
To think of being stuck at 18 when the cells continue to divide and grow and commit hara-kiri on a continuous basis is akin to being stagnant for me. So never mind if one follows this up with the Oh! I meant in my heart or in my mind or whatever (and yeah some unprintable stuff I have heard about some libidos), 18 till I die to me suggests being in a limbo, being stationary, being in the same place, time, et al. Too much of a free spirit and as wild as they come, you may as well kill me. I am high on life and greedy too. Because, no matter what one may say it is in growth that one gains not just weight but wisdom too and eventually one hopes for enlightenment.
A wise woman once said, At 20, you are worried about what people think, at 40 you don’t care and at 60, you realize that no one was looking in the first place. Lucky me, I was 18 when these gems were shared with me.
And then of course, my wise old man always said, you have only one life. Live it. Experience it. Only word of caution, never hurt another. Years later, explanation given to this by my Baba was very simple, you don’t want to tie yourself up in karmic time zones. For you will have to do that to make up. It is tough to get out of the life and death cycle if one is not careful. I reckoned, it was all up to me, folks.
So my bucket list began quite early and there are checks against some and I keep adding some. Save for the time I fell in love with the man I consider my “my one true love” and proposed to him only to be turned down, I have never really mulled on stuff and dwelled on failures much. On hindsight it was a good thing to be nursing a broken heart rather than be saddled with someone who does not want you. Or to be privy to the farts and warts of one’s muse and trust me dearies, even the hottest of them will have those.
Also the need for the person could lead to the understanding of the nature of life and love and beyond it to the Realization of self. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Imagine this in eternal time and juxtapose this with the attachment and moksha theory. Attachment = No moksha and No attachment = moksha. Simple formula that.....
So attach myself is what I do in the hope of an eternal love that is mine and mine alone. Moksha be damned. Yet enlightenment is what I seek. And so I live life out. And to its fullest. Not as a 18 year old in heart, mind or whatever, but with a song on my lips sung, like only a 40 year old Barbara or Whitney or Celine can belt out. Recall Connie Frances who did not fall for an excuse and belted it out to the man straight with the “Lipstick on your collar, told a tale on you”?
Well, I have gotten to a stage where I have no time or patience for crap. Especially when you have a brat at home to deal with. Try stepping into the washroom and just when you have fixed the bolt in place, you have the three year old banging on the door with the query, "Mommy what are you doing in there? When will you come out?". Now if there is anything that needs you to be grown up in real terms, this is it. Helps if you have a fine sense of humour in place and telling her you are flushing the bogeyman down the pot.
“Life is calling. Where are you?”, lines that go abuzz every morning and get me to move it. Better to walk towards eternal peace rather than get stuck in a time warp. And yes Denzel Washington, still manages to take my breath away! “What’s love got to do with it?”, you may well ask. Go figure.
The past year has been one of reunions and it was, “Soup for the Soul”, like no other. Took me to another time and place wherein I was relatively unfettered. But was quickly reminded of the facebook status of my friend, JJC (John Jacob Cherian) which went, “Note to self: Just because you are meeting your college mates after a long time, doesn’t mean you are 18!”
Having said that, I agree with Jim Fiebig – “Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone!”