Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Moms - Past, Present & Future

Minal, my wonderful and gorgeous, sister-in-law sent me this piece a few years ago. It makes a beautiful and emotional read, so I suggest you keep those tissues handy. I had stored it in my Inbox and stumbled upon it recently.

My friend and Godmother to my daughters, Elizabeth once told me about these lines that she had read which went

“God could not be everywhere
So He made Mothers”

Well I prayed hard for siblings and got two sets of parents instead!! So either God is dyslexic or I am the Numero Uno Problem Child that needs the supervision of not one but two MOMS!!! Mummy is what I call my birth Mom and Amma is my heart Mom. They can nag me up a creek but.......... Anyway I dedicate this piece to the two of them.

To me becoming a Mom is not just about bringing forth from one’s womb. I was a Mom long before I gave birth.... The instinct laid its foundation the day I carried new born Lakshmi on my lap and was strengthened with the arrival of Tulsi. She was barely a month old when I lay down beside her and felt the stirrings within. And the day the soft breath of a little boy, who clambered up my lap, brushed the nape of my neck, I became a Mom.....just like that!! His little chocolate arms went round and clung to me. A strong, seminal, protective and nurturing instinct overtook me and there was an instant connection....I was never the same, life was not the same......

Enough of my rambling, read this......and God Bless the Author.....


We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is,
becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years -- not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honour. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . .that of being a Mother.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or a future Mom you know.

- Author Unknown

Monday, June 14, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mommy!!

We share a rather tempestuous relationship
You and I.
I seem to do no right
And we hit the rough notes
Often enough
But this I know
That no matter what
You have always been there

In private
You berate me often enough
I will be hitting forty
A couple of birthdays down
But it takes just a glance
From you
To send me packing to four!!

There could not have been
A more ferocious
Tigress with a cub
Or a Grizzly with hers
It has not been easy for you
Raising me
But you have stood by me
Rock solid
No matter what

It was tough
Facing the odds
That were stacked
Against you
You bore all the pain
Sacrifice came easy to you
For my sake.....

Saying I don’t
Want to be like you
Is perhaps nothing
Just a reflection
Of my own inadequacies
And the insecurity that gnaws
Telling me that I cannot be
Half the mother you were
And continue to be

Love you Ma,
Wish you a very
Happy Birthday

Friday, June 11, 2010


Mother, Sweetheart,
Lover, mistress, wife, pawn
Used, abused
Scarred, tortured
Mentally, physically
The soul destroyed
Dreams and aspirations
Blown apart
Doomed to a life
Of subservience

She was violated
Battered, bruised
Broken in spirit and body
Yet it was trivialized
But when it dawned that
A torn piece
Of tissue
Was a matter of honour
She was killed!!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Someday, somewhere
In not too distant a future
I shall be enslaved
Shackled and bound
By the diktat
Of the regime
I who thought
That I shall always soar high!!

Is this hallucination?
Or a dream?
For am I not
Fettered already?
Makes me wonder
Was I ever free?
Or, is freedom
A mirage?!!