20 YEARS, 2020 AND THE 3 Cs

You never understood my fear of needles and blood tests. Scrapes, cuts, bandages, blood were the norm for me but that fine point of metal that would break through my skin and would feel "like an ant bite", struck terror and made my mind conjure up nothing short of an apocalypse.
And unlike Mummy who would have thrown me to the wolves and let them deal with me, you just gave me the, "I am disappointed in you" look and took me away from the hospital, mid-tantrum and in a state of "should I-or-should I not believe my luck"! Not a word during that ride to school. "No harm in asking", has always been a motto, so getting off the jeep, I dared to ask for money for an ice-cream. That look in your eyes had me scurrying away before I wet my pants. You have no idea how ashamed I was and how I wished I would get over the fear of that damned fine point!

Your tryst with cancer showed me the true warrior you were. Despite the visits to the hospital, the meds, the injections and the excruciating pain, you were stoic as ever. K.L Saigal, a chance to meet your Boltapode (your faourite niece, Tulsi) and a shoulder massage from me were the only things on your wish-list. I remember the needle that had injected morphine into your system and eased your pain. And your smile. I also remember the needle that put Sammy (that gorgeous Labrador Retriever, abandoned and hit by a car, left for dead, that you rescued) to sleep a week before you joined him.

Chronic Kidney Disease brought with it two years of dialysis and two needles that broke through and stayed put in the AV for four hours, three times a week. I hope you were watching over me and gave me a kinder look. I managed to get over my fear of the needle; never mind the fuss I made and the topical anaesthetic I applied! Grateful to the disease for helping me overcome this fear. Made me quite the warrior woman putting out my hand for the jabs that draw many ounces of blood, my veins for drips and injections...As a bonus I have a kidney with a PhD (My donor has a Doctorate). So there.
You would have been 80 in the time of Covid and we would have been at war, struggling to make you stay at home during this lockdown. But you would have walked the dogs and a ceasefire would have been brought about by the bratpack. Just so you know, the Rat is quite a natural in the firing range. And is quite proud to know that she gets it from you.
You are always with us, my old man, my animal whisperer... Stay safe and remain in the light always.